If the Jeepers can do it, so can we


Every year during the Easter week holiday here in Moab you can count on two things: The Jeeps will come and the Moab Police Department will disappear.

I hope they enjoyed their week off, with pay of course. No doubt come Monday you will find them in the usual spots on 400 East and 500 West, pulling over locals for having loose license plates, under-inflated tires, dirty windows, etc., and the most heinous of crimes, driving 21 mph in a 20 mph zone.

This brings me to a question I have long pondered: When the powers that be, in their infinite wisdom, decided to lower the speed limits because we had a noise problem, does that mean if we have a speeding problem they will make us all buy exhaust mufflers? Very confusing.

Perhaps at the next Coffee with Curtis, our resident know-it-all could explain this more clearly. No doubt his answer will make for epic entertainment.

On a final note I observed this week that the breakdown lane on Highway 191 is now open for business.

From the Colorado River bridge to the Branding Iron, there was an unending line of abandoned 80-foot flatbed trailers, a constant unloading of Jeeps and other junk, tractor-trailer combos, RVs and campers, fully occupied and the instant repair shop conveniently set up on the highway shoulder – oil changes, brake jobs, repairs of all types being done to all models of Jeeps at all hours of the night and day. Busy bees, all.

Perhaps the Red Rock 4-Wheelers have stumbled upon a solution to one of our most pressing problems. We can have our hardworking employees living out of their vehicles make use of this newfound and valuable real estate along Highway 191.

The town could plunk down Port-a-Potties every 75 yards, hammer in poles to hang out the laundry, and set up fences to keep kids and pets safely out of the actual roadway. New neighborhoods could spring up overnight. Of course this will set up confrontations next year when the jeepers return.

However, I’m sure we can use the Moab City Council’s tried and true method of problem solving – haul off and kick that can as far down the road as possible. Done deal.

In closing, let us band together under the simple mantra, “If the Jeepers can do it, so can we. If the Jeepers can do it, so can we …”

– Jeff Cox